Technology jokes
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always have BARS on their GPS.
What kind of tests do rappers always pass?
Sound checks!
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
What do you call a Vietnamese antivirus scanner?
An-Thi-cho-rho-na.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
Why did the computer go to bed?
It needed to crash.
What do you call an Asian phone? Wing Wing.
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
There's a home button.
Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.
Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
Boo Boo Doo.
I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
What pictures did turtles take?
Shell-fies!
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
I made a website for orphans. The thing is, there was no homepage.