Technology jokes
Two antennas met on a roof and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.
This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"
His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"
Emo: Phone die.
Emo: Why not me? ;(
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
What's the difference between an American and a computer?
Americans don't have trouble shooting!
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
BLESSEDBRIAN is the reason they invented the mute button.
Why can't an orphan watch T.V.?
Because it can't find the home button.
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
His wife shut off the internet.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
I hope you see this plugin, but if you're listening to this, I really want to give you a little more...
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
I made a website for orphans. The thing is, there was no homepage.