Technology jokes
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.
It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?
Why is Roblox so blocky? Because it "ro-block."
Why can't an orphan have a website?
... No homepage.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.
Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
What do you call an Asian phone? Wing Wing.
Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
There's a home button.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
Boo Boo Doo.
Why don't orphans have Life360?
Because parents won't track them.
How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?
What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.
Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
I made a website for orphans. The thing is, there was no homepage.
Why do orphans hate the internet?
Because on the internet, people have families.
Voicemailing.
I made a website for orphans.
It does not have a home page.
Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.