Technology jokes

Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?

Because when it beeps, it's him!

8 bit: Are you ok?

7 bit: Yes, I’m just a bit off...

Get it? 8 bits = a byte :)

I love you, my new phone! 📲

Microwave.

I made a website for orphans, but it didn't have a home page.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.

Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!

Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.

TRUE STORY!

X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.

I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!

Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!

How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?

How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!

What is a computer's favorite snack? Cookies!

Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?

The motherboard was nowhere to be found.

Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.

The radio is a player—it always gets turned on by lots of different people.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.

Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?

He lost his Wi-Fi connection.

Stephen Hawking died because he got hacked by me, and the update was too strong.

Fortnite Android Beta

To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?