Technology jokes

So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.

Psyonix's OCE servers.

"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."

Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.

It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?

Why is Roblox so blocky? Because it "ro-block."

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

I made a website for orphans. The thing is, there was no homepage.

Why do orphans hate the internet?

Because on the internet, people have families.

Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.

I made a website for orphans.

It does not have a home page.

Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.

Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?

My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).

Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.

Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...

Why don't orphans have Life360?

Because parents won't track them.

How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

Boo Boo Doo.

Why can't orphans use iPhones?

There's a home button.

What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.