Technology jokes
What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
I love the smell of my F5 key. It's very refreshing.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.
Yo mama is so fat, she takes her selfies in panoramic mode.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.