Connection Jokes


I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn”

Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

in Computer

Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?

Because they had a connection

in Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.


are you wifi because I think am finding a connection


Stephen Hawking died because he accidentaly lost his bluetooth connection

Frickn hell im such a fat ass -_-

What do you call 2 indians on a dating website? Connect the dots

Soviet Union
in Yo mama

Yo mama so fat she blocked my internet connection.

Apple Industries

Why did Steven hawking die? He lost wifi connection and don’t get the data plan.


why did stephen hawkins die

he lost internet connections


Two people are sitting in a sky scraper. P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible. P2: Airplane wifi

Im Going to Hell

How did Stephen Hawking Die, He lost WiFi Connection.


When you’re working in the twin towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi

in Puns

How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth? You get a good connection

Deeds of Terror
in Bad

What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?

“I think I feel a connection.”

in Programming

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn’t go well, because they couldn’t connect.

Morse codes
in Alien

What happens when a alien connects with your device?

The alien says on your device .-- . / - .-. .- …- . .-… / …-. .-. — – / – .- -. -.-- / – .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-… .- -…- -.-- …

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer

in Trump

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

Bobby I

The reason Steven hawking died is he lost his internet connection


My did Stephan Hawkins not turn up to the meeting

His internet connection ran out