Technology jokes

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.

A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, that's a hardware problem.

I like my girls like my file systems...

FAT and 16.

Why was the computer late to work?

Because it had a hard drive!

What STD can you get from phone sex?

Hearing AIDS.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.