Swimming jokes
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
Jesus could walk on water, and Chuck Norris can swim through land.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Is water wet?
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She didn't have any arms, remember!
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.