Swimming jokes
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.
All-star gay mix
Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.
Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.
So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.
The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Answer: Dam.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?