We almost dawned when we went out boating but I got a watermelon to keep me flooding
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
Your so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool, because they’re scared you’ll drown in the kiddie pool.
whats the difference between a pool and a toddler? one doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
Your mum sunk in the pool Because she had a big but
What do you call a terrorist in a kids swimming pool
A bath bomb
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around the guy has to pee get up on the deck and stick you stick it between the bars and pee.
Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark? because the africans couldnt swim.
Q:What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common? A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warms up after a few strokes
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
Whats yellow and can't swim A dead goldfish
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands
have you ever seen a blind man swim.......... neather has he
Q:Why can orphans swim A: they have orfins
a blond, a red head, and brunette, were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away, so in turn they try to swim to the island, the brunette swims 10 km then drowns, the red head swims 30 km then drowns, the blond swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
