What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door
Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student: The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher: She drowned?!
Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Q)What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim ? A) Robert Drowney JR.
Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark? because the africans couldnt swim.
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
a blond, a red head, and brunette, were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away, so in turn they try to swim to the island, the brunette swims 10 km then drowns, the red head swims 30 km then drowns, the blond swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."
If you watch "Jaws" backward, it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Q:What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common? A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warms up after a few strokes
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people canβt swim
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
