Swimming jokes
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door
Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student: The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher: She drowned?!
Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?
Because the Africans couldn't swim.
Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
What is a monster's favorite place to swim?
Lake Erie!
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.
What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming?
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.
Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Answer: Dam.
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*