Sally

Anonymous

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Bus

Anonymous

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children

Pool

Anonymous

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.

Puns

A random skeleton

Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

Blonde

Anonymous

a blond, a red head, and brunette, were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away, so in turn they try to swim to the island, the brunette swims 10 km then drowns, the red head swims 30 km then drowns, the blond swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.

9

Iron Man

ME

Q)What do you call Iron Man when he can’t swim ? A) Robert Drowney JR.

Country

cesar

why does mexico never hold the Olympics? because everyone that can run jump and swim is already out the country

3

Sally

Sally

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left?

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he’s stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

9

Yellow

Anonymous

Whats yellow and can’t swim A dead goldfish

America

Anonymous

Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team because everyone who can run jump and swim is already in America

0

Terrorism

Anonymous

What do you call a terrorist in a kids swimming pool

A bath bomb

Orphan

Anonymous

Q:Why can orphans swim A: they have orfins

Son

“Sir, I’m afraid your son can’t attend our swimming lessons anymore.”

“Why not?”

“He keeps peeing in the pool.”

“Well, all kids pee in the pool.”

“Not from the diving board!”

Difference

Anonymous

What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?

The fish can swim

0

Chuck Norris

Anonymous

Jesus could walk on water and Chuck Norris can swim through land

1

Baby

Anonymous

What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?

A baby with burst armbands

Wet

Anonymous

John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming

Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am

Puns

Anonymous

Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed.

Bus

Anonymous

What is long, yellow and cant swim? A bus full of children

Poor

TheJoker

There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have it,but you don’t have it because you are poor! The poor child answers:You’re right it’s very nice but i’have one thing that you don’t have! The Rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline and all the other games that can be done outdoors and tells ti the pope child: looks that beautiful swimming pool I have is very big you don’t have it because you are poor! and the poor child says: Beautiful is really beautiful! But one thing that you don’t have. So the rich child feels bad he says: Wait but I’m rich, how is it possible? I have everything i want because I’m rich.Why you have something that I don’t have? And the poor child says : I have cancer!