Q:Why can orphans swim A: they have orfins
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators, One night he has a party and says,"whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says,"wow I can't believe you did it! So whats your prize?" the guy says,"I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the B@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
Two cats called '1,2,3' & 'un,deux,trois' had a swimming race across the channel. 1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
What do you call a Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out man.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Why dont adele swim properly? Because shes rolling in the deep🤽♂️
Roses are red Get on the ground gimme your stuff get ready to drown.
I like my women like I like my diving pools. Wet and deep.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun but at the end I ran out of oxygen. It was a breathtaking experience.
3 blonde girls are on an isalnd and they are much to far away from land to swim, they find a genie on the island who offers them each 1 wish the first girl says "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island" so the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island. The next girl says "I wish I was even smarter then her so I don't have to do so much manual labor" so she turns into a brunet and makes a sail boat and lets the wind take her off the island. The finale girl says "I wish I was smarter then both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
what do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming..........a blood bath...bud um pst
What's black and yellow and cant swim?
- A School Bus Full Of Orphans
question: what did the fish say wen he swam into a wall?
Answer: Dam
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool
-a baby with flat armbands-
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"
