I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
What's black and yellow and cant swim?
- A School Bus Full Of Orphans
question: what did the fish say wen he swam into a wall?
Answer: Dam
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
