New Swimming Jokes

I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."

What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming

LEO is the reason the gene pool needs a LIFEGUARD

Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?

Because Black people can’t swim.

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.

Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!

What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?

A bath bomb.

What is the Mexicans favorite sports?

Cross country, wall climbing, and their favorite activity in the summer is lawn mowing.

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

What happens to teeth when they go in water?

Bro, I dunno, they get wet?

Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?

Because the Africans couldn't swim.

What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.

Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.

Me : “You guys wanna know a cool fact?” Friend 1 : “Yeah” Friend 2 : “Yea” Me : “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.” Friend 3 : “I love anime.” Friend 1 & 2 : “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Me : *Laughs at Friend 3*

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

What do you call a Titan who can't swim?

Titanic!

Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.

What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.

What has 30 legs but can't swim?

A bus full of children!

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."