Swimming jokes
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming?
LEO is the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
What is the Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country, wall climbing, and their favorite activity in the summer is lawn mowing.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?
Because the Africans couldn't swim.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.