A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
Swimming Jokes
Jesus could walk on water, and Chuck Norris can swim through land.
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
Did you know the Titanic swimming pool is still full?
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
Why did the cantaloupe đ jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon đ.
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
Whatâs Mexicoâs favorite sport?
Cross country.
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Whatâs green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.
Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
