Swimming

Swimming jokes

Brick

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Yo mama

yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"

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  • Cantaloupe

    Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?

    It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.

    Sport

    What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.

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  • Penaldo

    I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.

    Baby

    What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?

    A baby with burst armbands.

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  • Dream

    Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.

    Hobby

    John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.

    Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.

    Fish

    Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"

    Blonde

    How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.

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  • Pool

    I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!