Suicide jokes
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
What did the rope say to me?
"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)
Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.
ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?