Suicide

Suicide jokes

Kid

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

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  • Man

    Why did the man become stupid?

    Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...

    Mom

    Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....

    Bomber

    What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?

    I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!

    Hitler

    Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

    A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

    People

    Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.

    That’s why no one will be hurt.

    Pilot

    I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.

    Bullying

    A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.

    Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"