Suicide

Suicide jokes

If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?

Emo

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

Dark Humor

I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.

When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.

What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!