Suicide jokes
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and your mom?
A suicide bomber doesn't abort their mission like your mom did when she had you.
What’s the craziest thing Kurt Cobain released?
The safety.
Why can’t Kurt Cobain ride in the passenger seat?
Because he doesn’t like when someone calls "shotgun!"
Why are there so few Arab soldiers? Because they always commit suicide on their first day.
Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?
Because they are always sucking dick.
What do Woody and Hitler have in common?
Their bodies go limp before they get caught.
You're so ugly that you made Hitler commit suicide.
Why do transgender people have high rates of suicide?
Because they can't accept themselves for who they are, but they want everyone else to accept them.
So apparently, Kurt Cobain's death was mind-blowing.
What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?
A good start.
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
Why do trannies have such high rates of suicide?
Because they want everyone to accept them, but they can't accept themselves.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.