Suicide jokes
There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
So he didn't have to pay the gas bills.
I went through this once... It's not funny... Please... stop.
Sayori jokes aren't funny. :-:
I went through that once, you know...
(Teacher): "What's one sport you want to do, but you're not good at?"
(Me): "Suicide."
My sister saved a guy from suicide last week.
She was hiking and the guy was on the ridge of a high, narrow cliff. She talked him down, but I think he was just being edgy.
If I cut my wrist, am I a zebra or a tiger?
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and your mom?
A suicide bomber doesn't abort their mission like your mom did when she had you.
What’s the craziest thing Kurt Cobain released?
The safety.
Why can’t Kurt Cobain ride in the passenger seat?
Because he doesn’t like when someone calls "shotgun!"
Why are there so few Arab soldiers? Because they always commit suicide on their first day.
Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?
Because they are always sucking dick.
What do Woody and Hitler have in common?
Their bodies go limp before they get caught.
You're so ugly that you made Hitler commit suicide.
Why do transgender people have high rates of suicide?
Because they can't accept themselves for who they are, but they want everyone else to accept them.
So apparently, Kurt Cobain's death was mind-blowing.
What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?
A good start.
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
Why do trannies have such high rates of suicide?
Because they want everyone to accept them, but they can't accept themselves.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"