Suicide jokes
Depressed person: *chokes on food* *involuntary coughs untill they can breathe* "AWWW I failed the race!!"
If being near immortal was a normal thing i bet wanting to die wouuld've been too
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"
*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"
Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"
Responder: "Please hang on!"
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said?
"Pop Goes the Weasel."
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?
What do you mean? He doesn't have one.
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
How do you get a transwoman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
Emo grass cuts itself, while transgender laundry hangs itself.
Why do trannies suck at being soldiers? Because they have a 41% casualty rate.