Suicide

Suicide jokes

Batman

Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.

Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide

Door

Why did Adam commit suicide? Andy went through the back door.

Kid

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

Man

Why did the man become stupid?

Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...

Mom

Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....

Bomber

What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?

I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!

Hitler

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

People

Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.

That’s why no one will be hurt.

Pilot

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.