Suicide jokes
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
You're so ugly that you made Hitler commit suicide.
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"
Responder: "Please hang on!"
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?
One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
That one depressed friend.
DEEZ NUTS!
Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?
Because they are always sucking dick.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
Why are there so few Arab soldiers? Because they always commit suicide on their first day.
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.