Suicide jokes
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
No joke.
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
Why do transgender people have high rates of suicide?
Because they can't accept themselves for who they are, but they want everyone else to accept them.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.
All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...
Why do trannies have such high rates of suicide?
Because they want everyone to accept them, but they can't accept themselves.
Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.
I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"