Suicide jokes
What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
Did the tree high five the emos?
No, he just left them hanging.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.