Crisis jokes
Why did C.S.C. fail the trigonometry test?
Cosecant remember his own name.
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying?
"Are you having a crisis because people say 67?"
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis? A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
Ahh, the coronavirus!
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.