Speech jokes

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

"Aye, matey."

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye, matey!

A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?

"Sum ting wong."

Q: What do gay horses say?

A: "Geigh!"

What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?

Nothing, they both spout shit.

I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆

My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."

What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!

What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?

nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd

What do you call a swearing piece of shit?

Cus-turd.

My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"

What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?

What is boring? Talking about boring things.

What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?

One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.