Speech jokes

They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.

What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?

"Last night I had a meme."

What's a deaf kid's favorite words?

"Shut up."

I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆

When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"

Eschew obfuscation.

Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!

Are you choked?

Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."

"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."

"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"

Sugar Honey Ice Tea.

I FORGOT MY JOKE!

Q: What do gay horses say?

A: "Geigh!"

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

Do you want to hear a joke?

Never mind, it’s too punny.

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."

Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?