Speech jokes
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
Social media after banning Trump from every platform: “Haha he’s so embarrassed that he doesn’t speak anymore...what an idiot!”
What did the Indian say to the cow?
I lowe you, moo than anything.
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
"Stop it," said he.
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
What was I saying again?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
I'd insult BlessedBrian, but it seems NATURE beat me to it.
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
What did the man say about someone who had a seizure?
"Jit was lagging."