Speech jokes
What did the Indian say to the cow?
I lowe you, moo than anything.
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
"Stop it," said he.
Memes
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
What was I saying again?
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
I'd insult BlessedBrian, but it seems NATURE beat me to it.
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
What did the man say about someone who had a seizure?
"Jit was lagging."
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.
Moo!
Cow: I was just about to say that!