My last best man's speech was like the marriage
Short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.
They say I have a sliver tongue, I'll let you make it white
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
I might slide up to your block with intelligence I'm a genius with a glock There's some relevance Took his chain, took his rocks Took his sediments There's no cap inside my speech No impediments Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared Why didn't he buss it back?
what where Stephen hawkings last words
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gb2jGy76v0Y
you failed hellen kellers speech class? its okay shes not a very good speaker.
What was I saying again?
why did my mouth say no to buut.because that will be to much sex.
why couldn't the horse give out a speech? option one: horses can't speak at all option two: his voice was a little *hoarse*
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My speech impediment has gotten so worse that I stutter when typing sentences.
Q: If a cat says to a dog all dogs are liars and the dog says to the cat all cats are liars what does it mean?
A; It means cats and dogs can talk.
Hello worst jokesever.com I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech ding me a period. I don’t see what’s coming up but I don’t know why I am sending so it will be random or funny or just stupid LOL . So like and subscribe and
There was a cheerio that had a job, he worked hard at it and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the cheerios. So he needed a speech, he kept practicing and practicing and know he was thirsty. it was almost time for his speech. so he went to the drinking fountain but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake but he saw tons of garbage, and what he thought was a cereal killer. so he found this bowl of punch, but he relised... there was no punch-line
What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?
A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual".
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human like structure, muffins lack brains which are an essential part to being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak. Thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
What do cheap people use to talk?
Free speech.
china unban google rn noOoOooOw
What does ur mom say when she is working? Nothing, its rude to talk wit ur mouth full.
🤔 💭 🙃 What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent? Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!!
There is a young lady.. She is beatiful. She got much vote. But she speech very fast. Does she think look smart with do that? She make me feel bad.
