Someone's jokes

What do you call someone in a wheelchair with a gun? A rxd.

I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?

'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."

There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.

Hello.

Anyone does online dating and needs someone? HERE I am!

Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?

Ariana

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

Someone asks a question: Who? Who asked? Boom, you"re done xxx.

What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?

WhatsApple.

Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Someone unplugged the WiFi router.

What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?

Joshua Metcalfe

When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."