Member Jokes

Why did the ACLU blocked 🚫 📱 the cellphone number of ☺ of a christain nationalist minister because the christain nationalist had a virus on his cellphone 📱 and keep calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card carrying member of the ACLU

like this if one of your family members is emo!!!!

Why can’t orphans go on game shows

You need a family member

if you hit a child that's child abuse. if you hit a family member that's abuse. if you kill either, it's murder for some reason. if it's a whole family, its genocide for another reason.

EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"

Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."

(everyone on titanic) ahhhhhhhhhhhhh the ship will sink!!!! (person washing hands) im using the sink wait your turn!!!!! (all crew members laugh) hahahhahahahahah.

Grandma: you guy’s generation is on to much technology. Kid: well your the ones that raised us. Other family members: ...

In Denver, the members of a Sunday­-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths. One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

What is a yellow dog Libertarian? A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it 🐕 🗽

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them Sound familiar🤔 Well in september 11th...

One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).

My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes, and told me they both ended up dying.

Well, SO-RRY but I didnt know they're conjoined twins.

like this if you have ever had a family member die

What is an army members top drink?

WARter

One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the middle east

Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan. The tour guide said “That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member” Well done Lewandisney

How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowship in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar

Young Couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!"So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."