What time is it when you say wake up? It is morning
Where did the cake 🥞 sleep 💤 on the stove? In a pan.
It’s raining it’s poring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.
When I go to bed... my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick... and beats me with it.
Why do mountains go to sleep a lot Because they are high
my mom was poor so we had nothing to eat me sleep on the floor but now I'm rich rich rich 😜
What do you call a pillow that been on the bed for 20 years in jail A criminal 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
What is the difference between the human and a human and walk home walk and walk walk home and walk walk home from school tyyy
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?
Snooze Dogg
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
"A Twix."
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag ...... A Kit Kat
Going to church, you don't think, you are Christian. Sleeping with ten men, You don't think, you are straight.
It was 7:00am when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep, he got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat, "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely, Billy replied with "whatever dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
We are having a sleepover and we are being as quiet as possible Addison:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THOSE ARE GREAT JOKES!!! Layne:IKR Mom:SHUT UP, YOUR BROTHER IS TRYIMG TO SLEEP Addison:ok fine Layne:look at this joke Addison:HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA *Addison and Layne continue laughing really loudly*
So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister? Nothing, he just started wanking.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that's my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds "those are my headlights." He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down "daddy whats that?" The dad replies "that's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says "you can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see's them going at it he then yells "mommy turn on you're headlights daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
