Sleep jokes

How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

My ex died in an anchorage accident.

She always was a sleeping hooker.

Why did the pillow go to court?

Because it had a pillowcase!

Teacher: Why do people snore?

Me: Because they sleep.

Foxy the fox was a careless fox. She didn't care about her friend Froggy.

Froggy was a careful frog. One day, Froggy decided to teach the fox a lesson.

Foxy was in her bed sleeping when Froggy made her room an entire mess. She got up, and then her mother berated her for not cleaning her room. From now on, she is a careful fox.

I was going to tell you a cow joke...

But it's pasture bed time.

Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?

So it could have sweet dreams.

Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.

"Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.

Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea. (Fantasy)

A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.

She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."

The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.

Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)

Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?

Your mom finishes.

Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.

Mom: No, honey, I killed him.

Why did the koala go to bed?

Because it was leafing.

Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.

My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.

A boy asks his father:

"What is politics?"

Father answers:

"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.

Our maid is the working class.

Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."

The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.

Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.

The next day his father asks him:

"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"

The boy says:

"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!

Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."