Bedbug jokes

If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!

If bedbugs live in beds, where do cockroaches live?

When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...

“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"

Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"

If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...