I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me.
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
I got detention for giving an emo kid a happy meal.
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
How do you win an argument against an emo?
Kick the chair!
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
