Infant jokes
What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...
1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
How do you get ten babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
Má ég fara heim?
(In an infant-esque voice.)
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
"What's worse than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?"
"What?"
"1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?