Infant jokes
What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...
1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
Má ég fara heim?
(In an infant-esque voice.)
I know
How do you get ten babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
"Stupid ass baby."
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?
Putting the nappy on afterwards.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
What’s 12 inch long, purple, and makes women scream??
Cot death!
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."