Infant

Infant Jokes

Morbid humor

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."

Public

Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?

because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

About 140 calories.

Baby

What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?

One baby in three trashcans.

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Dead Baby

What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies.

What's worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive.

What is worse still? It has to eat its way out.

What's worse than that? It went back for seconds.

  • 9
  • Baby

    How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.

    How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

    Baby

    Babies can spread a nasty smell,

    especially when you haven't fed them for a month.

  • 3
  • Baby

    What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

    One screams when I peel its skin off.

    Truck

    What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?

    You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

  • 8
  • Baby

    What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?

    Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.

    Baby

    How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

    You nail its other hand to the floor.

  • 1
  • Baby

    What's worse than a baby in a trash can?

    A baby in 10 trash cans.

  • 5
  • Baby

    What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?

    A baby in a blender.

    Inch

    What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...

  • 1
  • Baby

    Why are babies called bundles of joy?

    When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.

  • 0
  • Baby

    Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?

    Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭

    Baby

    The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.