Headline jokes

I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."

He was in the infantry.

NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.

Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

I suppose that was a fair compromise!

Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.

When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?

Like it if you judge people's hairlines.

Ya know, Kobe made a real impact on the earth!

I can see my future in your forehead.

Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!

Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.