Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
Sleep Jokes
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
Don't give up on your dreams...
Keep sleeping.
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
Pokemon: Why was Hypno so energetic?
He wasn’t Drowzee anymore.
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!
Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed!
I did have a good night, and I did a good night, and I had to walk around the house.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
Your forehead's so big that you dream in 4k.
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.