Sleep jokes

Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.

Doc: What's wrong with that?

Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.

I did have a good night, and I did a good night, and I had to walk around the house.

Yo mom's so fat that she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).

I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.

Pokemon: Why was Hypno so energetic?

He wasn’t Drowzee anymore.

"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."

How's your dad?

What? I forgot he's still sleeping.

Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

Where do fish sleep?

On a seabed!

Why do mountains never rest?

Because it’s ever-est.

So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.

20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.

Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.

What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?

Twix.

My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.

Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.