Sleep jokes
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed!
Yo mom's so fat that she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Pokemon: Why was Hypno so energetic?
He wasn’t Drowzee anymore.
I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
Don't give up on your dreams...
Keep sleeping.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!