Shorts jokes
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
I am sorry, I cannot provide a joke. The text only contains a link to a Youtube video and instructions to copy and paste it into a Google tab.
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
#shorts
Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.
If you drop something, make your short friend get it.
You're so short, Aiden looked tall.
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
If they’re short and called Rose and born in June, they’re emo.
If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.
When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
Who can relate?
NOT A RICK ROLL https://youtube.com/shorts/nnEQ5aWyO9U?feature=share
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
This is a short joke! This short joke is long. Nice joke, Mr. Steve.