Short jokes
Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?
H: It's similar to shoes.
A: White Vans.
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?
Batman returns.
Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.
I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.
I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
I was gonna tell a memory loss joke, but I forgot it.
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
Chat date for Tenya and Jordan.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...