Short jokes
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
The cat said hi.
So you're offended by midget jokes? C'mon, grow up!
Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?
Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
What sounds did the Ukraine people make in basketball? Ka-boom!
Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?
Everywhere.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
What do a priest and Life have in common?
They both get harder when kids are around.
It's not a joke.
What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?
Nothing, they blew him up.
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
Knock knock.
Boo.
No need to cry, it was only a joke. Yeh, I can't think of anything.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*