Short jokes

Short jokes

Car

I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.

Tea

What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?

Reality.

Son

What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?

“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”

Weed

What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.

CIA

What do the initials CIA stand for?

Central Intelligence of A**holes.

Water

Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?

Father Figure

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.

Bridge

What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?

They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.

Coal

What is the difference between white people and coal?

It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.

God

What did God say when he made the first woman?

"Where is your dick at?"