Short jokes
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?
In Greece.
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?
Why did the person go to jail? He committed a crime.
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.
I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Why are blinds called blinds?
Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
Stfu.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.