Short jokes
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
Big, ugly, and very weird.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
I have done a ton of work. A skele-ton.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
Your hairline is so crooked that it made Will Smith feel straight.
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
What do you call a crazy lesbian?
Fruit Loops.
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.