Short jokes

Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.

I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.

Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!

My dad is now a milkman.

Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.

Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?

To get some plane bread.

Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.

Birthday girl: Oh wow!

Parent: Anyone missing?

Birthday girl: Your parents.

I get jealous when my phone dies.

Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.

What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.

Why have there been so many deaths around the world?

Trees and ropes.

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.

Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."