Short jokes

Short jokes

Chicken

If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!

Orphan

Why did the orphan join the baseball team?

Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.

Tree

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.

Now ain't that cool?

Bill

"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.

Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.

Burger

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

Dog

I should name my dog Ariana Grande.

That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.

Depression

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

Girlfriend

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

Milk

Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.

Lumberjack

My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.

I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?

Pirate

Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?

Because he has ALL of the booty!

Bunny

Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?

Because they have a hare-line.

Hobby

What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?

Nothing because he's dead.