Short jokes
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.