Short jokes
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,
but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.
*Is honestly the best policy.*
Like if you wanna have sex.
Q. What do you call a Muslim basketball player?
A. Osama Bin Ballin'.
What’s Elon Musk Jr.'s favorite food?
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Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
The Romans conquered Africa, they conquered Europe, they conquered Britain, then they stopped. They probably ran out of conkers.
If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?
What is the favorite city of the pedophile icon? Paris.
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Your mama is so old, she made a book bigger than the Bible about her life.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.