Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Short Jokes
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Why don’t orphans live in villages?
Because they will get abandoned.
When you're born on 4/20/69...
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!
