Short jokes

Short jokes

Sandpaper

Run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours. It will be fun!

People

How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.

Shrek

Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.

And they created The Green Party.

Orphan

We should stop.

Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?

The boomerang!

Mob

Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?

A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

Dick

What's the difference between Monday and a dick?

They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.

Santa

You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

Jesus

Why did Jesus create the Devil?

He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.

Suicide

How do you know the hooker killed herself?

She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.

Technology

Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.

Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.

Other family members: ...

CIA

What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.

Disco

What does a disabled disco play?

"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."