Short jokes
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
What is white and 9 inches?
Nothing.
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
Your hairline caused the solar flare.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
What's 1 + 1?
Why did the cheetah get sad?
'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
Can we go back to 2001?
I bet it was more fun back then.
Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?
They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!
Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.