Short jokes
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
Corn and corn, where is popcorn?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
You soak balls, get it?
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
What did the baritone say to the alto?
Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.
I've Benin there.
I'm Ghana go.
I've got to Togo.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
Ttt.
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!