Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X? Because it didn't have a home button.
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
I got an orphan an iPhone 6. I told him to press the home button. He has been doing it all day.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.
It doesn’t have a home button.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
Why couldn’t the orphan play Xbox? Because there was no home button.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
