Short jokes
You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
When a wheelchair kid bends over, wheelchair kid goes “ohhahahhahhahahahahal!”
What do you call an Indian that came home late?
A curfew muncher.
1 like = 1 small dick whiny conservative in my blender.
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
Jesus was drinking when he made you.
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
Answer: Crimea River!
My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.
What do you call a girl furry?
A pussy cat.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.