Short jokes

The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.

To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.

Where do you buy cows in bulk?

At the stock market.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

Is that a person over there?

Na, it's Jesus.

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!

Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...

Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!

User name is Nico Belick.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?

A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.

I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.

It was the hardest day of my life.

If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!

What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"

"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."

"Why?"

"Because I want to hang!"

Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.