Short jokes
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.