Short jokes
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."
And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
No pine, no gain!
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.
Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when I was born.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”