Short jokes
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
To anyone suffering from low self esteem:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UTymDoPOEnY
A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"