Short jokes
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
Why did the plane cross the sky?
To hit the Twin Towers...
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!
Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Read the next line.
Read the previous line.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”