Short jokes
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
It's been 2 years since I've been on this. Hello, guys!
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Why is hangman always done in black ink?
To make it more realistic.
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.
He never talks about it.
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.