Short jokes
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?
BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Dark humour : hell!!! Aren't people racist!!!
Your fat!
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.