Short jokes
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
Where did the pig go on holiday?
Snout and about.
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.