Short jokes
Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi!
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.
What is a vampireās favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
Whatās a sheepās favorite song?
"Baby Donāt Herd Me."
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
When you think you canāt fail anymore if youāre dead, then you fail at suiciding.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?
Fell out of the tree.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!