Short jokes
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
Mushroom?
Creeper?
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
Bomb.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.