Short jokes
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
What are Michael Jackson’s sexual pronouns? Hee hee!
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
The towers ordered pepperoni but got plane.
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
What milk do orphan babies drink?
Not their mom's, though.
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.