Short jokes
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
Hey, I misplaced 2.1 trillion a few days ago, on September 7th, 2001.
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?
A: They already ate the bat.
Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
"Ching Chong ling long suck my ding dong."
What do you call a black coconut?
A CoonConut.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
What’s the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving; you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.