Short jokes
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
Denki: Hey Mineta, I have a joke.
Mineta: ...go on...
Denki: Ochako's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it?
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: *cries T_T*
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Bomb.
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?