Short jokes
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
"Boiled ham" is what you call a dead Russian.
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester?
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
Anong tawag sa cake na may ubo?
Edi cough cake! NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAKAJAHA LT TLGA BOSIT
Can I get a Hoyah?
Afghanistan.
You wanna hear an orphan joke?
Okay, here it goes:
You.
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
A teacher says, "What comes before 47?" Quiet kid: "AK!"
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣