Short jokes
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?
He puts his PJ-Amazon!
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.
in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
What is the only place fat people live?
Obi-city.