Short jokes
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
What is the only place fat people live?
Obi-city.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.
Dirty bitch!
In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.