Short jokes
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
They say they'll stay, but I left first.