Sally

Anonymous

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Legs

Anonymous

What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

Deer

Anonymous

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”

Octopus

Anonymous

What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? – Itenticle.

9

French

Anonymous

Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

8

Puns

Anonymous

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Date

Collin

on a date me - "I get to work with animals all day" her - "How sweet! What do you do?" me - “I’m a butcher.”

8

Animal

Anonymous

My aunt’s star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died. – She was eaten by a giant crab.

Eating

Anonymous

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

5

Puns

Anonymous

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.

Difference

Anonymous

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? – The letter F.

6

Toilet

Anonymous

What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?

It got pissed off.

1

Animal

Nameless

What’s a school shooters favorite anime

Assassination classroom

Octopus

Anonymous

How do you make an octopus laugh?

You give it ten-tickles.

7

Fly

Anonymous

What do you call a dead fly? – A flew.

2

Chocolate

Anonymous

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? – A candy baa.

2

Cow

Anonymous

How does a cow become invisible? – Through camooflage.

2

Ball

Anonymous

What’s the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

Deer balls. They’re under a buck.

0

Octopus

Anonymous

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? – Because the octopus was well armed.

3

Puns

Tatyee

I wanted to tell an animal joke but its irrelephant

4