Short jokes

I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.

What do you call a person with no arms?

Armless.

No, it's harmless.

It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.

What do you call a disabled person who gets high?

Baked potato.

Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!

We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.

How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

Neither has he.

When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.

I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.

A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.

But hay! It's in my jeans!

How much work does a skeleton get done?

A SKELE-TON!

Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"

Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.

I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.

(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

Roses are red, fishers are fishing,

I really hope you’ll be reported missing.