Short jokes
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
I know this place may be cruel, but hang in there!
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Here comes the airplane.
9/11 happens the next day.
Underground Fruit Association of N&C (UGFA)?
We’re bananas!
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
Boom, it went.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.