Short jokes
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."
Gan cube prices?
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.