Short jokes
"Spray and pray," also known as a priest with an altar boy.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! ππ€£
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
The trip from your eyebrow to your hairline costs $6000.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?
He puts his PJ-Amazon!