Short jokes
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
What do you call a Pirate Pokemon?
Arrrrrr-ceus!
I am the grand wizard, mak.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Women suck (GET IT?!)
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.