Short jokes
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
What do you call a flat emo?
A chopping block🖤