Short jokes
What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.
in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
2,996 kill streak, boom!
I found this game, it's like flappy bird: https://terrorist.group/
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
The trip from your eyebrow to your hairline costs $6000.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Draggin’.
Draggin’ who?
Draggin’ these balls around yo’ face.
Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.