Short jokes
Why do orphans cry at insurance places?
They got offered the family plan.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
What's an EMO's favorite game?...... DARK SOULS
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.