Short jokes
Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno
Children are like farts.
You can only tolerate your own.
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
What did Saturn say to Uranus? Hi.
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
Me: Gay puns are the best!
Also me: But I'm straight though.
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
Where does a pianist go on vacation? The Florida Keys.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.
What does lmao mean? Laughing miles.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?
Me: The medication is the drugs.
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*