Short jokes
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.