Short jokes
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?
Black ops.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)