Short jokes
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.