Short jokes
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.