It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
Short Jokes
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?
TripAdvisor.com
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
