Short jokes
I asked my friend Cammy what is 55+68 and he was to say it in words, he replied with "swebin".
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
I just got a taste of Kingston, Ontario's only transgender restaurant: 664 Bath. A Dairy Queen who used to be a Burger King.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
What do you call a gay baseball player? A homo-run-sexual.
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
The dear God created the man.
Then he created woman.
When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!
Why did the dinosaur take a bath?
So it can get ex-stinked!
Ima start callin' these hoes roosters, 'cause any cock-a-do.
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
What did the banana say to his neighbor? Yellow!
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."