Short jokes
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.