Short jokes
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.