Short jokes
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Did you hear about the gay choirboy?
He choked on his first hymn.
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.
I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.