Short jokes
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?
Black ops.
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.