Short jokes
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"
Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
Roses are red, fishers are fishing,
I really hope you’ll be reported missing.
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
How do mountains see? They peek.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!