Short jokes
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.
congrats to george floyd on 2 years sobriety
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.