Short jokes
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
What do you call a Pirate Pokemon?
Arrrrrr-ceus!
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
What sucks about disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.